Carnations

remember that night
you gave me flowers?
the yellow carnations.
i keep them
in an empty bottle,
of sparkling
apple cider,
we drank together
one rainy evening,
waiting for something.
i can't remember anymore.
they are
dried now,
but still fragrant.

Yes.

Alarm clock goes off.
More sleep?
No. You need to get up.
Force.
Eat breakfast.
More coffee please.
No. You don't have time.
Force.
Sit in class.
Please explain again I don't under--
No. We must move on.
Force.
Stale practice room.
So tired can't I nap?
No. You are not good enough.
Force.
More work, paper scribbles.
Can't I have dinner?
No. You must get this finished.
Early morning hours.
I have to sleep now, please.
No. Work harder.
Force.
Climb into bed die.
Yawn.
Do you love me?
Yes.

So Funny

she laughs
oh it was so funny
the way he looked me in
the eye
and said he didn't
care
the way we
screamed
at each other
she chuckles
so hilarious
being the other
woman
sex is so
funny
don't you think?

Practice Room

you know when you were a kid
you'd sometimes find giant
cardboard boxes
play in them for days until they were
crumpled torn soggy
but to you it would always be your
secret hideaway
a place where silence was only a
friendly voice
smiling sweetly in between the notes
of the little song you sang
under your breath
as you crayoned the walls

im standing in a crumpled torn soggy
practice room
peeling flakes of god knows what
some construction material from the
'70s
i think the piano might be moldy
but to me it is a secret hideaway
a place where silence is a
familiar face
nodding its head in affirmation
between the notes i play
from my heart
as i color the world

nuance

im a goddess
covered in bug bites
im a greek statue
chisled by scars
i have golden tresses
and weird lumps on my head
i have smooth silk skin
and hairy legs
my hips sway softly
my feet sometimes stink
nuance is perfection
light is just heat

Baptism

a very strange baptism indeed
which left blood streaks on
the wall
dipped my head
fathersonholyshit
in the concrete
until all my
skins
be washed away
sealed as a child of
gravel bits stuck in my
head scraped raw like
crucifix scabs
a very strange baptism indeed

electric storm

electric storm
sky kiss
artillery pulses
from cloud hearts
gentle rain
sky caress
slow vein melt
from cloud hearts