jihad at target

I wage a holy war

losing time under fluorescent

lights harsh tagchew threadscream

in the intimates aisle

polyester panties and wanting to die

I am already naked

feral dripping

warmud bloodspit battlesweat

standing here

hand grip

cart push

wild

and half dead

in civilization crumble clearance section

and this time martyrdom is

pulse and blink is witness

staying alive in captivity

this time jihad of a sword swallowed

firebelly in the self-checkout

ancient beast buying bras with security tags

smoldering guerilla and

out into the parking lot

fight another day

surrounded

to the man who said he stopped seeing me because he didn’t want to be “surrounded by transgenders”

I am going to please my new lover so goddamn well I will pleasure her and protect her and make her dick hard and her laughter soft and we will be beautiful and free and they will never understand and we will sweat and moan and sing and everything will be praise

and everything will be

and everything 

forgiving a fuckboy

I see him

now

child on a dusty road 

runsome distance away

skittish eyes burning nose running

probably

crying for a long time but done

now

kicking at some rocks

or a can

swinging his arms

unsure what to do next 

unheld and wandersome

unaware

it was safe for him to come home

now