Pain of distance
Coils upon itself
Ever tighter
Until
It only feels close to itself.
How
To be intimate with myself again
Playful, unreserved
Inspired by mere presence of sunlight
Unblinking within my own mind.
I need to work the garden.
Virtue of putter.
Until the garden lets me
Rest my head on her belly.
I need to find a place to pray.
As long as it takes
For the moon to rise again
Behind the magnolias.
As long as I need.
I need to tread some path in
Some forest.
Even if
The flowers are strange
And we make only small talk.
I need to dance between my instruments.
I need to wind my body between
Every configuration of wood that makes
Sound.
I need to punctuate with silence
That stretches time and
Pulls body along with.
I need to feel my every sound
With naked feet.
I need to play as a child.
I need to stack my thoughts just to
Knock them down.
I need to cuddle with my intuition
Fall asleep with it in my arms
The sensations of the day
Still lying scattered at the rug by the bed.
I need to forgive myself.
For abandonment, mostly.
And for growing up too fast
While I wasn't watching.
With these words I uncoil
Unspool into a long thin thread.
So that I may be only
A hair's breadth away
From myself
And approach God, asymptote.
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