You Believe In Beauty

standing in your apartment
chaos shredded, fractal on the floor
you can hear the mold
whispering from behind the bookshelf
laden with Kerouac
                  whiskey
                  and Parliaments
a scent
pungent, signature
bearing witness to emphysema nights alone
and a few too many
in the company of
strange thighs, spread eagle, unwashed sheets.

but when you put your hands
on my body
eyes locked with mine
mouth nestling into the
most intimate divet in my neck
I know--
you believe in beauty.

you believe with kicking, screaming resilience
it is the greater whole you sum to be true
and you fight
your way back to it
with equal parts rage
and tenderness.

you believe in beauty
you know beauty
and no matter how hard
you try
you can't hide that
from me
anymore.